Remark Of The Day: Compensating Version

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Picture: Stellantis

Do you know that autos with taller entrance ends are extra lethal to pedestrians? It’s one thing all of us knew anecdotally, however immediately we noticed knowledge that proved it: When a automotive’s hood grows simply 4 inches taller, that car is 22% extra prone to kill a pedestrian in an impression.

You all, nevertheless, introduced up a unbelievable query: Why are fashionable hoods so tall? There are many doable solutions, from floor clearance to styling to aerodynamics, however moistened bint hit the nail on the top. Demand for greater, extra protruding entrance ends comes from people who really feel a bit missing elsewhere.

It’s solely pure — loads of people are uncomfortable with how a lot they’ve obtained occurring in sure respects, and would relatively die than undertaking that insecurity on the market into the world. What higher method is there to cover your flaws than shopping for an infinite, lumbering, aggressively-styled car?

It’s the proper crime, nobody would ever see by means of it. Why else would somebody buy a sixty-ton car with a grille like a mustache, if to not reinforce the masculinity they already really feel? Nobody would ever suspect that the motive force was not, in truth, the love baby of Burt Reynolds and Dolph Lundgren.

So, moistened bint, congratulations in your COTD win — and on making a remark so laser-targeted that it introduced again COTD altogether. Typically a joke is so apparent looking back, but you by no means consider it whereas really writing the put up. Your efforts in making low-hanging dick jokes (or, on this specific case, maybe not so low-hanging) go neither unnoticed nor unappreciated.

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